


only your invention

by jestbee



Series: Drabbles for Donations [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Blind Date, M/M, Meet-Cute, Miscommunication, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:38:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24560182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jestbee/pseuds/jestbee
Summary: Phil doesn't have time for fuckboy Dan so why can't he stop texting him?
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: Drabbles for Donations [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1775191
Comments: 23
Kudos: 133





	only your invention

**Author's Note:**

> for missemma, who donated to BLM

When Phil first met Dan he wasn't impressed. He was intrigued, of course, because Dan's eyes flashed gold under overhead lighting, and his aftershave was nice, and his hair did a little flicky thing on the ends. But he wasn't impressed. 

Phil had never cared for the obvious, insistent kind of way that Dan hit on him. The way he hit on everybody. 

"He's just so… fake," Phil says. 

He'd met Dan a month ago at a bar because he was a friend of a friend, and they'd swapped numbers when Phil had thought it was leading somewhere he wanted to go. But Dan had left with someone else that night after Phil made no move to go home with him, but he's been texting Phil ever since anyway.

And moaning to his flatmate about it.

"Fake?" 

Lizzy is eyeing him with a smirk, definitely laughing at him because he's had one glass of fizzy wine too many and the bubbles always go to his head. 

"Yeah! He says he wants to go out with me but I know he just means he wants to go on one date, sleep with me, and then never call me after. He does it with everyone." 

"Oh Phil," Lizzy says, sticking her bottom lip out to mock him for the big baby he is, "Do you want a boyfriend?" 

Phil huffs and slips down the couch. "What's so wrong with that?" 

"Nothing," Lizzy says. "But for someone who wants a boyfriend you spend half your time talking to fuckboys." 

"I know." Phil takes another swig of wine and lets the bubbles fizz in the back of his nose. 

"So delete his number and stop talking to him." 

"Yeah," Phil says. "Yeah, I'm gonna." 

-

Phil doesn't delete his number. He does, however, start to resent it every time he gets a text at midnight asking if he's awake.

_Dan: if you're still awake you could meet me ;)_

He hates that Dan is like this, that he keeps pursuing Phil even though Phil clearly isn't giving him what he wants. He still replies though. It's only polite. 

_Phil: going to bed now goodnight_

-

"For fuck's sake, Phil." 

"What?" 

"That's the fourth time your phone has buzzed and I know it's Dan." 

_Dan: what are you doing?_

_Phil: making dinner, you?_

Phil puts his phone away and hides his face by staring intently at the pan of pasta he's stirring and sniffs. 

"You said you don't want to be with him," Lizzy says. 

"I don't," Phil shrugs. 

"Sure looks like it." 

Phil sighs and turns from the pot, turning down the heat. "It doesn't matter anyway. I told you, Dan doesn't date. He sleeps around." 

"He told you that, did he?" 

"He didn't have to," Phil insists. "I saw it with my own eyes." 

Phil dishes up dinner and they sit on the sofa to eat.

_Dan: watching drag race, did you see that lip sync?_

_Phil: no spoilers! I haven't seen it yet_

_Dan: get on it mate_

He thinks he's escaped the conversation about Dan entirely, but when his phone vibrates again with Dan getting dangerously close to telling him who was eliminated on the latest episode and Phil telling him to fuck off, he realises he has no such luck. 

"You need to start seeing someone," Lizzy says. 

"What?" 

"To stop this whole fuckboy thing. Let me set you up with someone who won't mess you about." 

"Yeah," Phil laughs, "like you know any good, single men." 

"You'd be surprised," she says. 

"Fine," he concedes. "I'll let you set me up once. That's it." 

-

Ryan is late, which doesn't get them off to a good start. He takes Phil out for fondue which is another rung on the ladder of disaster, and by the end of the night Phil is so dizzy from rushing and sick from the smell of cheese that he doesn't even have it in him to stay pleasant when he says goodnight. 

_Dan: what you doing?_

_Phil: just got in from a disastrous date_

_Dan: wouldn't be disastrous if it was me ;)_

_Phil: ha fucking ha_

"Are you texting Dan?" Lizzy stops him in the hallway where he's got one shoe off and his phone in his hand.

"Hi," Phil says, slipping his phone on his pocket and avoiding the question.

"How did it go?" Lizzy asks

"Um, yeah he was… it was fine but I don't think we'll go out again."

"Okay, so Ryan wasn't the one. But the next guy will be."

"Next guy?" 

"Yeah."

-

The next guy is also not the one. He's rude and he laughs when Phil orders a fruit cocktail and then scoffs when Phil tells him he calls his mum every week. Luckily they'd only gone for drinks to Phil is able to escape. 

_Dan: hey_

_Dan: hey stop ignoring me_

_Dan: oh shit are you on another date?_

_Phil: yes but it's awful_

_Dan: same guy as before?_

_Phil: no different one_

_Dan: careful Phil, people will think you're putting it about if you carry on_

_Phil: I'm not like you, I'm not sleeping with them and ditching them._

_Phil: Dan?_

"Philip Lester!" 

Phil jumps out of his skin to find Lizzy at his bedroom door with her arms folded. 

"What? Jesus, you scared me."

"I keep sending you out with perfectly reasonable men and you keep not liking them."

"Well, sorry," he says. "Pick better men, I guess." 

Lizzy narrows her eyes at him, unfolding her arms and shaking her head. "Fine," shs says. "I will."

"No," Phil says. His phone still hasn't vibrated with a reply from Dan, but he's not waiting for one. He's not. "No more."

"One more," she says. 

Phil sighs. He puts his phone on the bedside table and pulls the hood of his hoodie over his head. "Fine."

-

Lizzy doesn't tell him about the next one. 

"You'll only judge him before you start," she says. "You're really judgmental you know."

"Am not."

"Whatever, no details. He'll meet you in Starbucks."

"Starbucks?" Phil is pleasantly surprised by that. Starbucks is exactly the lind of place for a first date. No cheese, no pressure to order the right cocktail. Just coffee, and enough quiet to talk. 

"That's what he said."

"Alright."

-

He should have known really. Because Lizzy is a tricksy thing and he loves her, he does, but she's always doing stuff like this. 

"Dan," he says. 

"Alright?"

Dan drops into the seat opposite his. He's got a tiny cup with an espresso in it but he doesn't raise an eyebrow at Phil's frothy sugary latte. 

"How?"

"Lizzy called me. She said that you wouldn't stop going on about me." 

"Did she?" Phil asks. 

Dan smirks and sips his tiny coffee. "Mm hm."

"Well, be that as it may. She's lured you out here under false pretenses."

"Has she?"

"Yes. I'm not looking for a hook up." 

Dan sighs. "You're always saying things like that." 

Phil looks out of the window at the passers by and thinks that this would be nice under different circumstances. He gets on with Dan for the most part, they actually have a lot in common. But Dan wants one thing, and Phil wants another. 

"Well, given how me met it's obvious that we… differ. On certain things."

"How we met?"

"Yeah."

"Phil, I hit on you in a bar and gave you my number." 

"And then left with someone else!" 

Phil doesn't know why he sounds so angry about it. It was ages ago. 

"Oh," Dan says, and he's smiling now. 

"What?" 

"I left with my housemate. And then I proceeded to text you all the time to ask you out. I know I was an idiot to keep trying but… I like you."

"Your housemate?"

"Yup."

"Oh."

"So…" Phil says, meeting Dan's eyes. They still flash golden under overhead lights, and his hair is doing that flicky thing on the ends. "When you kept asking to meet—" 

"I wanted a date, yes." 

"Shit," Phil curses. 

"Sorry to disappoint."

"No," Phil says, shaking his head. He reaches over the table, nearly knocking over his coffee, and puts his hand over Dan's. His skin is soft. "It's just… Lizzy is going to be insufferable after this." 

"Why?"

"Because… well, because I want a date too." 

Dan's face breaks into the biggest, most beautiful smile Phil has ever seen. 

"Alright," he laughs. "Let's have a date."


End file.
